Our teacher was lecturing us about how we should know what we want in life, but when it became obvious that she was talking about "settling down " and there were some murmurs, she then produced the age-old line
"You may say that now, but I bet in a few years your views will change."
Now, it's well-known to the class that I'm definitely not open to the idea of marriage, and when I mentioned to the woman that neither was I intending to get married, nor was I planning on popping sprogs out, she obviously thought that this too was a cliche and went on to talking about safe-sex, and how they are often "Famous last words".**
At the time, I was throwing glances at my friend (who is the only person that's really aware I'm asexual) and laughing, but later, it made me think.
I may know that it's not likely that marriage etc. is going to happen to me, but everyone else around me- save my friend- is ignorant to that fact.
It makes me feel isolated and has pretty much put a damper on my otherwise-nice day.
When things happen like that (and they are happening, with increasing regularity) that effectively 'put me in the closet', they make me feel like a fraud and a liar.
So what? You ask. Sexual identity is not the Be all and End all of your life.
I attend a single-sex school full of hormonal, heteronormative teen girls *.
The 'sexual tension' is highly charged at times, and it's easy to feel out of place. Add to that to the fact that I'm a sexual minority and one of my best friends is gorgeous, constantly has guys after her and is a borderline-nymphomaniac, and it makes for some nasty emotions.
That's why I have vowed to get the word out on AVED 2009. Come October the 12th, I am going to be doing my utmost to help with visibility and whatnot. I don't want anybody within my figurative reach to feel the way I sometimes do...
The way I am starting to feel everyday.
*When I say 'heteronormative, I mean it. My school's population is so small, the statistics for gay and bisexual people aren't enough for even one person put together. I'm just an anomaly, I guess.
**I'm sorry about using so many quotations, but the lesson really was one whole big cliche ):/