Friday, 28 August 2009

Hey There!

Hi, I'm part of the one-percent of the world who identify as asexual.
Since this is my blog's first post, I thought I'd get a little FAQ going.
Since I don't want people to generalize from my views on being ace, here's my pick of the best FAQs from the Student Room wiki page on asexuality- which is awesome.
"What is an asexual person?"

An asexual is a person who is not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender. Everyone has certain people they are not sexually attracted to – asexual people just find that everyone falls into this group. Other than that though, asexual people tend to be very varied.
Increasingly, an asexual person is often described as 'ase' or 'ace', like a homosexual person is often described as 'gay'.

"Does this mean that asexual people can’t form relationships?"

Certainly not – many asexual people want to be in close relationships. They are just as likely to form close friendships as any other person. Many asexuals also crave romantic relationships and are perfectly capable of crushing on people and falling in love.
There are certain asexuals who do not wish, for whatever reason, to form romantic relationships. Increasingly these people are defining themselves as aromantic or asexual-aromantic.

"So who do asexuals fall in love with?"

Some asexual people do have a gender preference for their relationships – an asexual may define themselves as homoromantic (wanting to be in a relationship with a member of the same gender), heteromantic (wanting to be in a relationship with a member of the opposite gender) or as biromantic (wanting to be in a relationship with a member of either gender). Some asexuals define themselves as aromantic, not wanting to be in a relationship with anyone at all, just as many straight, gay or bi people may not wish to be in a romantic relationship. Of course, some asexual people choose not to define as any of these groups, taking life as it comes. Some asexuals are also polyamorous.
So do asexual people only have relationships with other asexuals?

It is usually easier for asexual people to have relationships with each other, but it is unlikely. Most asexuals end up in relationships with people who are not asexual. Although this can cause problems in a relationship, with communication and determination, there is no reason why a relationship with an asexual is less fulfilling than a relationship with anybody else.

And here are a few other questions that I'll answer for you.

"Hey, you spelt sexy wrong..."
No I haven't! Being 'asexy' is the ace equivalent of being considered sexy.
To paraphrase (ahem, plagairise..) an Urban Dictionarite...


An adjective used to describe an asexual person showing intelligence, confidence, style, physical attractiveness, charming personality, baking skills, or any other combination of sufficiently positive and unique characteristics.
DJ is one asexy amoeba. I hear he can bake a three-layer cake in thirty minutes flat.
'' Why do you keep mentioning aces, black rings and cake? It's weird!"

Thanks for asking that, imaginary Questioner. Since it's quite hard for asexuals to 'fit in' sometimes, there's an online community created with them in mind which quite a few people visit regularly.
This means that it's become quite the ace hub, and things that are popular over there are often seen as synonymous with the ace community.
This stems from the fact that some asexuals, when asked about sex, will say 'I'd rather have cake!' Cake is often given to new members of AVEN and is now seen as something of an asexual symbol on AVEN.
Just as 'gay' is an abbreviation for 'homosexual', 'ace' is an abbreviation for asexual.
And since it's a cool word, I tend to use it as much as I can.
Black Rings
Mostly recognized inside the ace community, and with a few people 'outside' recognizing what black rings are used for, they've become a symbol of asexuality. They are worn on the right middle finger. Some people wear them for themselves- reminding themselves of their identity and giving them confidence- whilst others wear them purely for recognition.