Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Coming out - again and again

I've recently been spending some time with friends who I wouldn't normally spend so much time with, and it's like a new friendship. Which is brilliant, and has been leading to se awesome times being had by all. However, it has been leading to awkwardness when sex it romance become topics in the conversations.
And, as I get older (though not that much older, dear reader) come up in conversations it does indeed, with increasing and alarming regularity.

In fact, the general conversation has been going a little like this;

Friend: "blah blah blah blah..." (conversation turns to sexual stuff)
Me: "Well, y'know, I'm not into that stuff...

And there the misunderstandings and hilarity ensue.
Of course, I realise that I've been taking for granted the fact that the school's gossips have basically ensured that I longer have to come it to anyone at all. But it's still a little disconcerting to have to explain to new friends that no, I don't particularly want to go to dances to get off with people, or agonise about the intricacies of someone else getting off, and yes, intend to be an old cat lady, or else in a super-relationship of awesomeness with various friends. I'm not aromantic (god no- I may not be horny teenager, but in the absence if an insatiable libido, I have an equally annoying romance drive) but I'm still not really interested in explaining the intricacies of my perfect, romantic/platonic relationship to the average cislayman. It's not particularly Cindy From Next Door's business, unless I want to be in a relationship with them.

I still find coming and explaining asexuality again and again too, and although I know every person I tell adds to collective awareness, I still have a sense that I'm being a 'vis-queen' in a negative way, constantly flaunting and discussing my orientation, even though most other ( i.e. Heteronormative) people get to "flaunt" theirs every day.

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