Appearance as 'art'

I've come across the "asexuals don't need sexual partners, so why bother?" question a few times, being asked with varying degrees of sarcasm, ignorance and sometimes irony.

And my answer- as with most other people- is that I'm not hyped up about my appearance in that sense (Why the skintight crop tops, ladies? *wail*), but by heck do I like to make an effort. When I'm out of the Funny Farm :P and in public, I walk past perfect strangers who look at me an make judgements based on what they see. I'm not generalising, here (I hope). I meant judgements as in "I love those Doc Martens" or "I might have to copy that some time" or "hehe, nice banana suit". My appearance is what 'speaks' to these people, and although I'm not saying you should let complete strangers dictate how you should dress, I also think this applies to other areas as well as wandering round towns and cities. Meeting new people? Unless we aren't looking forward to it, we generally take a conscious effort to portray a certain 'image'. As the old saying(s) go, "a picture is worth a thousand words" and... Some other ones I forgot, hehe.

Anyway, I take pride in my appearance as almost an art form. I often make my own accessories and jewellery, and I'm proud enough of what I make to want to display it. If I want to look serious, I'll change what I'm wearing to reflect that.

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Fashion isn't just for peacocks, people.

:D

Of Missing Teeth and Children

I just arrived from the dentist, having had 2 more teeth extracted (I had 2 taken out last week too, to make room in my 'small' jaw). I won't bore you with the bloody details- literally- but as I have to spend the day resting and not being able to speak, I thought it was a good time to put my thoughts out through another medium- typing.

I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to certain types of pain- especially the afterpain of extractions. I've been told by more than a few people that "when I have kids, I'll be useless" as a joke, and my dentists' assistant, a lovely lady, asked me how I was going to cope when I had kids.

But why did they have to say 'when'?

I live in the UK, where almost 1 in 5 women choose (or not) not to have children. Yet the prevailing attitude is that because I am a girl, I will have them. Not if, but when. It's apparently my 'fate'.

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[/pain induced rubbish] I think I'll go bash my jaw in with a sledgehammer now.

Small Town Girl

Hey, folks. Today, I'm going to talk to you about narrow-mindedness.

No, this is not my cue to step onto my soapbox and rant about the narrowmindedness of those around me- specifically- but about viewpoints in general. It really irks me when people are ignorant and narrowminded, especially about issues relaxed to sexuality and gender- ranging from the assumption that because I am a 'woman' I will at some point produce small children, whether I want to or not, to sexist jokes and calling everything under the sun 'gay'.

But, these are definitely not the only times people can be narrowminded, and anyway- this post isn't about that. I'm here to "talk to you today" about why people hold such beliefs. Why is openmindedness so hard for some of us?

I myself can be narrowminded, and I'm certainly ignorant of a lot of things. I haven't learnt everything in the years I've been here. But what I have learnt has definitely been influenced by the people around me, and events in my life. For instance, my mother (who I love dearly, haha) is a bit of a snob, and whilst I'd like to think I'm not a snob myself, I know that one of my personality flaws is the tendency to come across as arrogant. Heck, I probably even type a little arrogantly, and maybe even come across as rather snobbish as well.

But my point is, I was influenced by my mother (and to some extent, my father, who is at times very arrogant) and they have passed some of their flaws (and good points, I hope) onto me. Nature or Nurture? It's hard to tell, but when negative traits are being passed on, such as a racist attitude or a chauvinistic outlook on life, it can seriously warp the way someone thinks.

And it's not just parents and adults who pass things on.

Being surrounded by people your age who cry "Faggot! Lesbo! Ew, Trannie" at everything is bound to make you react, be it by furiously beating them with a pan handle :P or going along with it and passing the slang along yourself. But, especially with homophobic, sexist and racist attitudes, the 'things' being passed can be completely outdated, left over from times when homosexuality was illegal, people with Gender Dysphoria were locked up, and segregation was the norm. Society isn't too quick to change, it seems. And in "Small Towns", places where these hurtful ideas are allowed to fester- be it an actual small town, a family or even a schoolyard- it's kinda hard to break out of the mold.

EDIT: Phew, didn't know I had this long, rambling and pointless rant in me. Sorry for the absence of rationality and sense. And no, I'm not pointing any fingers this time.