Saturday, 30 April 2011

A Casualty.

It seems to be a little of a trend that many blogs on asexuality end up drifting towards gender-realted topics, or at least exploring the intersection of gender and sexuality, and this blog hasn't really been the exception. However, I'm sort of loathe to make this a permanent Thing - gender is something I'm sort of hesitant to speak about, because although I'm much more genderweird than a 'properly cis person', it's something I want to let lie for a bit.

However, whenever I sit down to write a post, I feel like that is the only thing that is going on at the moment. I've basically come as far as possible in my small pond - I educate people, have repeatedly come out, and pretty much reached the end of the road regarding my small peer group. Until I go to college this September, I'm sort of stagnating - the only possible I can see until then is family, and I am most definitely not ready to tell or show them any of my thoughts and concrete feelings about my romantic identity and sexuality.

I admit I'm a little scared of starting the cycle of dealing with everyone anew, but I'm also excited, too (apart from the obvious reason of being excited about staying in a wonderful house with a wonderful lodger family and going to a wonderful college, of course!) - sure, the pressure to conform will be larger, and sure, a larger lot of people might not be the kindest ever, but I'm going to be older and I hope, less inclined to repeat any mistakes.